Declare War On France For The Antartic

A while ago, I was watching Shakleton, and Stephen came over half-way through. This lead to an intense discussion from Kal and I about different Antartic explorers, and how clearly Shakleton is better than Scott because HE DIDN'T DIE ON EXPEDITION. Which is generally a mark of a good explorer.

Stephen had no idea. He may even think there are polar bears in the Antartic.

This mean that we needed to get out the map of Antartica. And look at it! Australia owns most of it. As it should be.

But look at all the other countries with parts of it. I mean, I can understand England having a chunk - I'm part English. And so was Shakleton (and Scott). Even Norway. I mean, Admundsen WAS the first to the pole.

But France?!



And look - their piece breaks my piece in half.

I want Antartica. I suggest that we declare war on France for it. It's not like they're good fighters - we'll win easily. And then I will be able to rest calmly in the knowledge that Australia has the biggest bit of Antartica, and that our bit isn't broken up by a nation that eats snails.

Hilarious!

I'm not exactly sure that's right...

We were outside, and Kleio had taken off one of her shoes. "You can't go around with one shoe off and one shoe on Kleio. That's CRAZY!" I said.

"Crazy boy!" Kleio said happily.

"No, Kelio, you're a girl, so you're a crazy girl." I told her. "I'm a girl too, so I'm a crazy girl. What do you think Paris is?"

"Crazy girl?"

"No, Paris is a boy, so he's a crazy boy."

With that, Jude felt the need to add his ever-hilarious two-cents. "Dad's a boy," he told me in a confiding tone.

"My Dad's a boy too. What's your Mummy?"

Jude thought about it for a second, and said, "Mummy's a pirate."

Breaking into C-Block

It's amazing what I get up to on a Sunday. After church, we have sometimes have Christian Development School, or CDS. Because I'm not a big fan of socialising, I was one of the earlier people to get over to the C-Block. And when I was there, I found Uncle Paul and Joab waiting (not particularly patiently) while Chiew was getting the key.

Now, in case you didn't know this, Joab is extremely bad at waiting.

So he was trying to climb in the window. He was also failing miserably. I decided to have a go. After all, other than being sick, climbing through windows I wasn't supposed to was what I did in primary school. Sometimes I even had to climb up drainpipes to do it. But I was wearing a skirt, and couldn't quite do it.

Joab, by this time, absolutely can't stand it. So he goes to his car and gets an umbrella and trys to hook a chair and bring it through the gap in the window. Uncle Paul and I are both laughing at this, because there is NO WAY a chair was going to fit through that gap.

Joab eventually gives up on that idea, and looks at the chain holding the window at the right degree of open-ness. "If I had a screw-driver, I could unhook it, then we could lift out the chair, and Sam would be able to get through the window and let us in."

"Yes, but that really would be breaking and entering, and not just climbing through a window," said Uncle Paul.

After a few moments of watching Joab dance around because he's really impatient, I decide to put him out of his misery. No, I didn't shoot him. I rolled a boulder over to the window and used that to climb in.

What can I say? My years in primary school were well spent, and I think I actually have more patience than a leader in our church, even if that leader is Joab.

Gold Digger

Obviously, at work I am in charge of the CD player. That means, no kids music. Because I believe that the Bible would declare that virtually all kids music is clearly inspired by the evil one.

Which means we listen to awesome stuff. Like "glee".

So this is what I had the kids dancing to.


What's funny is that some of the kids were doing full on booty dancing, or up against a wall dancing, or other inappropriate things. I'd do a demo, but, really, it was inappropriate. Which meant that every single one of us staff members was in absolute STITCHES.

I love glee.

Police Get Jude

I've written about Jude before, and he is the most hilarious child. I was playing with him, when the burgular alarm next door went off.

"Siren!" He said.

"Yep," I confirmed.

"Police! Police coming! Police coming get Jude!" (He seemed more excited that upset at this thought.)

"Why are the police coming to get you Jude?" I asked.

"Jude SPEEDING. Mummy, Daddy's car. Speeding! Vrooom!" And with that he sped away.

And then, the next week, Jude came in with a massive scab over his nose. "How'd you get that Jude?"

"Jude SPEEDING!"

I Want One

Everyone at church wants a baby next year. Normally I'd be all for this - I mean, babies! But their motivation leaves a little to be desired.

You see, they want to have "dragon babies".

That's right. Everyone in my church wants to time their babies by Chinese star signs.

It's kind of ridiculous. I mean, you don't catch Kal and I planning which month we're going to have our babies in so that they fit Western star signs. Because they are a load of nonsense, and pagan nonsense at that. Chinese star signs are also a load of nonsense, and pagan nonsenese at that. They just last a whole year.

Anyways, everyone wants a dragon baby. Apparently they are "auspicious".

Also, apparently they are hard to get into schools.

Kallie asked Freedy why they were hard to get into schools, and he told her it was because they were "auspicious".

Still trying to figure that one out.

But really, I just want a dragon baby of my own. Kallie said that's because I just want a baby, and I'd be happy to have a dung beetle baby if that was the one on offer next year.

A dung-beetle baby sounds cute.

But a DRAGON baby - well, that's auspicious.

Now, to get the boy I like to want an auspicious dragon baby with me.

Lack of Blogging

Sorry bout that guys. But I'm back on gluten for testing and I feel really ill. I don't think I look great either, even if I've been told otherwise.

So basically, I've bitten off all my nails, scratched my arm til it bled (just once), and have had lots of fun times with my stomache. My test is tomorrow.

Please pray.